Chapter 11
Javaughn:
It’s been a few days since Amaya left my place. I’ve tried texting and calling but she wouldn’t answer. I feel moronic because I don’t want her to slip through my hands. I just don’t want her to walk into my life and then walk right out without saying a goodbye.
Amaya has been on my mind all week. I just wish she can at least text me and say she’s okay. Hopefully Cameron is doing well too, I’m worried about him. Since Chrystal and I had a lot of things to work out with this lawsuit we were at the office together doing some paperwork.
I got up from my desk and went to get myself a drink from the buffet cabinet I had in my office. Taking a glass, I poured the alcoholic drink into it. Only when I was stressed out I drank or smoked. I hated the fact that I do it, but it’s the way I cope with things.
“Javaughn, why are drinking in the office? You know you’re not suppose to do that.” Chrystal said walking up to me.
“I’m stressed Chrystal….leave me alone.” I said. I love my sister dearly but sometimes she can be a pain in my ass.
“Look if you’re so stressed talk to me Javaughn. I’m here for you.” She said leaning against the chair in front of me.
I took in what she said and thought about it. Even if I didn’t tell Chrystal, she would find out about later. So I might as well just tell her, what harm it could it do. I walked back to my desk and sat in the comfy chair. Resting my head back I exhaled out some air
“What would you do if you found someone and began to grow love for them and they just walk away?”
“Chase after them…..” She said, “If I loved someone…so bad..that I can’t possibly live without them, I’d chase after them. I wouldn’t even risk having them slip through my hands.”
I nodded my head in response. Maybe that’s what I have to do, chase after her.
“Javaughn?” She questioned.
“Yeah Chrys?”
“So you love her?…You know Amaya.” She said with a curious look on her face. I stopped playing with the pen I had in my hand and looked at Chrystal with a blank expression. Did I love her? No, I barely even knew her..
“Nah, but I’m feelin her. I have to get to know her before I can say I love her. Yeah she’s beautiful, has a great smile, and a genuine person but….”
“But what?” She questioned.
“There’s something she’s not telling me. I’m just curious about her and why she acts the way she does…” I trailed off.
“Hmm, maybe she just had a rough past and doesn’t know how to deal with it. If a woman doesn’t tell you something, it’s for a reason.” She said causing me to think. Maybe Amaya did have a rough past, or just a bad past relationship. Now I have to go see her, I have to talk to Amaya.
After Chrystal and I talked, I planned that I’ll go see Amaya tonight after work. I want to get serious with her, well I think I do. But in order for that to happen we have to open up to each other and talk about our problems instead of just running away from them. Even I have tad bit of baggage, I mean everyone in this world does. But it’s only up to us to move forward from it.
It’s been a few days since Amaya left my place. I’ve tried texting and calling but she wouldn’t answer. I feel moronic because I don’t want her to slip through my hands. I just don’t want her to walk into my life and then walk right out without saying a goodbye.
Amaya has been on my mind all week. I just wish she can at least text me and say she’s okay. Hopefully Cameron is doing well too, I’m worried about him. Since Chrystal and I had a lot of things to work out with this lawsuit we were at the office together doing some paperwork.
I got up from my desk and went to get myself a drink from the buffet cabinet I had in my office. Taking a glass, I poured the alcoholic drink into it. Only when I was stressed out I drank or smoked. I hated the fact that I do it, but it’s the way I cope with things.
“Javaughn, why are drinking in the office? You know you’re not suppose to do that.” Chrystal said walking up to me.
“I’m stressed Chrystal….leave me alone.” I said. I love my sister dearly but sometimes she can be a pain in my ass.
“Look if you’re so stressed talk to me Javaughn. I’m here for you.” She said leaning against the chair in front of me.
I took in what she said and thought about it. Even if I didn’t tell Chrystal, she would find out about later. So I might as well just tell her, what harm it could it do. I walked back to my desk and sat in the comfy chair. Resting my head back I exhaled out some air
“What would you do if you found someone and began to grow love for them and they just walk away?”
“Chase after them…..” She said, “If I loved someone…so bad..that I can’t possibly live without them, I’d chase after them. I wouldn’t even risk having them slip through my hands.”
I nodded my head in response. Maybe that’s what I have to do, chase after her.
“Javaughn?” She questioned.
“Yeah Chrys?”
“So you love her?…You know Amaya.” She said with a curious look on her face. I stopped playing with the pen I had in my hand and looked at Chrystal with a blank expression. Did I love her? No, I barely even knew her..
“Nah, but I’m feelin her. I have to get to know her before I can say I love her. Yeah she’s beautiful, has a great smile, and a genuine person but….”
“But what?” She questioned.
“There’s something she’s not telling me. I’m just curious about her and why she acts the way she does…” I trailed off.
“Hmm, maybe she just had a rough past and doesn’t know how to deal with it. If a woman doesn’t tell you something, it’s for a reason.” She said causing me to think. Maybe Amaya did have a rough past, or just a bad past relationship. Now I have to go see her, I have to talk to Amaya.
After Chrystal and I talked, I planned that I’ll go see Amaya tonight after work. I want to get serious with her, well I think I do. But in order for that to happen we have to open up to each other and talk about our problems instead of just running away from them. Even I have tad bit of baggage, I mean everyone in this world does. But it’s only up to us to move forward from it.
Amaya:
"What you did was wrong Amaya, you need to fix it.” Melanie said as I got ready to head over to my dad's office.
“I know Mel.. I didn’t treat him right.” I confessed. “But it’s not like I was doing it intentionally, I didn’t know what to do so I left.”
“What did he do while you were trying to get your stuff together?” She asked.
“I was trying to put my necklace on and I couldn’t get the clasp to open, I began to get frustrated so he helped me put my clothes on and everything…”
“Did he yell at you or anything in harm?” She asked with a concerned look.
“No he didn’t. I knew he was mad at the fact I was leaving but he didn’t force anything on me. He was calm and gentle even though I was the total opposite..” I said realizing his actions. “That’s new to me Em, I’ve never seen that before.” I could feel my eyes begin to water. Why did I have to mess everything up?
“It’s okay Amaya. Don’t beat yourself up, be strong.” She said bringing me into a hug.
“How about I take Cameron with me to the park and watch him tonight so you can relax.”
“That will be good. Thanks Melanie, I appreciate it.” I said hugging her tighter.
“You’re welcome love, whenever you need anything I’ll be here for you.”
After that she left my room and back into the living room. I continued to get dressed and ready to leave. I really need to talk to Javaughn maybe I'll text him to come over or something. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of yogurt and a banana.
"Okay Mel I'm leaving... bye Cam." I said kissing his cheek and walking out to my car. I got to the office around 9:30.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Melanie had left with the Cameron around 6:30 to go out to eat and it was now a quarter to eight o’clock. All the lights in the house were dimmed low and I had some candles lit in the living room just so the house wouldn’t be pitch black. I poured myself a glass of red wine and a bowl of strawberries with nutella, my favorite. The house was clean, smelled like apples and cinnamon, and quite just how I liked it. When Cam is home it’s quite sometimes, I’m blessed that he isn’t a loud and obnoxious boy, because God knows I’m not a very patient person.
I had already took a shower and decided to put on a pair of boy shorts and a loose shirt that barely covered my butt and hung off my shoulder. I didn’t bother putting on a bra because I was home alone. Once I was done, I laid in bed with my wine and strawberries. This was my idea of relaxation, my phone was on vibrate and I was watching a movie. An action movie of course, I never really like Romantic stuff. Just action, comedies, and a few biographical drama films. But my favorite movie is ‘A Beautiful Mind’ as well as ‘Poetic Justice’ and a few others.
I rested my head against the plush pillows I had placed on my bed and relaxed while I watched my movie. Out of no where, I heard my doorbell ring. Now who in the hell is knocking at my door at night? Because I know Melanie has a key and so does Chrishelle. I checked my phone and the time read 9:05. Ugh, who is it? Getting out of the bed I fixed my shirt and made my way to the door. But before I opened it I grabbed the baseball bat that was in the coat closet by the door.
Standing on my toes, I looked through the peep hole. It was Javaughn. Taking a deep breathe, I opened the door. There he stood with his hands in his pockets and he looked up to me.
“We need to talk.” He said calmly.
“Come in.” I said nervously, once he walked in I shut the door and locked it. We walked into the kitchen and I turned on the light that was above the sink. That would give us just enough light to see each other plus I had the candles on so it was enough. I sat on the granite counter top I had and began to play with my hands. I only did that when I was lost for words to say or things to do. I needed my wine, that would make things a bit better.
“Tell me why you left the other day.” He said looking at me. I looked at him and dropped my shoulders, I knew that’s what he was going to say. I might just tell him.
“I left because…..” I began to say but I just couldn’t bring myself to finish it. Come on Amaya, ‘be strong’.
“I left because I was confused. And most of all frustrated at myself. I didn’t know what to do so I left.” I said ashamed of my actions. Why did I have to be immature that night, if I had a problem I should’ve talk to him about it.
“So that’s why? Confused and frustrated about what Amaya? Tell me.” He said clenching his jaw. I knew he was beginning to get frustrated because I was giving him short answers. But I couldn’t help it, I didn’t know what to say.
“I was confused because we aren’t even together but we’re acting if we are. And I was frustrated because…. I was frustrated because I’ve been through something like that and I don’t want it to happen again.” I confessed. He walked closer to me but I kept my head down.
“What have you been through?” He asked taking my hands that were shaking uncontrollably.
“I can’t tell you that, at least not everything. But I just have had a bad, really bad past relationship.” I said trying to hold back my tears. I couldn’t allow Javaughn to see me cry, just not yet.
“How bad Amaya?”
“Horrible….” I said squeezing his hand a little bit. He picked me up from the counter and set me down. We held each other and I could smell the cologne he had on. It smelled so rich and exquisite. The embrace that we had made me feel sort of safe and calm. His touch comforted me.
“Do you want to stay here with me?” I said hoping that he will say yes. Maybe I can relax with him next to me.
“Of course baby.” He said kissing me on top of my forehead. I took his hand and led him into my bedroom. Once I was settled into bed, Javaughn took of his sweatshirt and shoes and just kept his sweatpants on. He climbed into the bed and pulled me close to him. My head rested on his chest and my hand was placed on his nicely sculpted abs. I didn’t have the appetite to eat my strawberries but I just finished the rest of my wine. Javaughn had been flipping the channels and placed it on a movie. My eyes began to get heavy so I snuggled up to Javaughn. Now this may be my new way to relax.
"What you did was wrong Amaya, you need to fix it.” Melanie said as I got ready to head over to my dad's office.
“I know Mel.. I didn’t treat him right.” I confessed. “But it’s not like I was doing it intentionally, I didn’t know what to do so I left.”
“What did he do while you were trying to get your stuff together?” She asked.
“I was trying to put my necklace on and I couldn’t get the clasp to open, I began to get frustrated so he helped me put my clothes on and everything…”
“Did he yell at you or anything in harm?” She asked with a concerned look.
“No he didn’t. I knew he was mad at the fact I was leaving but he didn’t force anything on me. He was calm and gentle even though I was the total opposite..” I said realizing his actions. “That’s new to me Em, I’ve never seen that before.” I could feel my eyes begin to water. Why did I have to mess everything up?
“It’s okay Amaya. Don’t beat yourself up, be strong.” She said bringing me into a hug.
“How about I take Cameron with me to the park and watch him tonight so you can relax.”
“That will be good. Thanks Melanie, I appreciate it.” I said hugging her tighter.
“You’re welcome love, whenever you need anything I’ll be here for you.”
After that she left my room and back into the living room. I continued to get dressed and ready to leave. I really need to talk to Javaughn maybe I'll text him to come over or something. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of yogurt and a banana.
"Okay Mel I'm leaving... bye Cam." I said kissing his cheek and walking out to my car. I got to the office around 9:30.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Melanie had left with the Cameron around 6:30 to go out to eat and it was now a quarter to eight o’clock. All the lights in the house were dimmed low and I had some candles lit in the living room just so the house wouldn’t be pitch black. I poured myself a glass of red wine and a bowl of strawberries with nutella, my favorite. The house was clean, smelled like apples and cinnamon, and quite just how I liked it. When Cam is home it’s quite sometimes, I’m blessed that he isn’t a loud and obnoxious boy, because God knows I’m not a very patient person.
I had already took a shower and decided to put on a pair of boy shorts and a loose shirt that barely covered my butt and hung off my shoulder. I didn’t bother putting on a bra because I was home alone. Once I was done, I laid in bed with my wine and strawberries. This was my idea of relaxation, my phone was on vibrate and I was watching a movie. An action movie of course, I never really like Romantic stuff. Just action, comedies, and a few biographical drama films. But my favorite movie is ‘A Beautiful Mind’ as well as ‘Poetic Justice’ and a few others.
I rested my head against the plush pillows I had placed on my bed and relaxed while I watched my movie. Out of no where, I heard my doorbell ring. Now who in the hell is knocking at my door at night? Because I know Melanie has a key and so does Chrishelle. I checked my phone and the time read 9:05. Ugh, who is it? Getting out of the bed I fixed my shirt and made my way to the door. But before I opened it I grabbed the baseball bat that was in the coat closet by the door.
Standing on my toes, I looked through the peep hole. It was Javaughn. Taking a deep breathe, I opened the door. There he stood with his hands in his pockets and he looked up to me.
“We need to talk.” He said calmly.
“Come in.” I said nervously, once he walked in I shut the door and locked it. We walked into the kitchen and I turned on the light that was above the sink. That would give us just enough light to see each other plus I had the candles on so it was enough. I sat on the granite counter top I had and began to play with my hands. I only did that when I was lost for words to say or things to do. I needed my wine, that would make things a bit better.
“Tell me why you left the other day.” He said looking at me. I looked at him and dropped my shoulders, I knew that’s what he was going to say. I might just tell him.
“I left because…..” I began to say but I just couldn’t bring myself to finish it. Come on Amaya, ‘be strong’.
“I left because I was confused. And most of all frustrated at myself. I didn’t know what to do so I left.” I said ashamed of my actions. Why did I have to be immature that night, if I had a problem I should’ve talk to him about it.
“So that’s why? Confused and frustrated about what Amaya? Tell me.” He said clenching his jaw. I knew he was beginning to get frustrated because I was giving him short answers. But I couldn’t help it, I didn’t know what to say.
“I was confused because we aren’t even together but we’re acting if we are. And I was frustrated because…. I was frustrated because I’ve been through something like that and I don’t want it to happen again.” I confessed. He walked closer to me but I kept my head down.
“What have you been through?” He asked taking my hands that were shaking uncontrollably.
“I can’t tell you that, at least not everything. But I just have had a bad, really bad past relationship.” I said trying to hold back my tears. I couldn’t allow Javaughn to see me cry, just not yet.
“How bad Amaya?”
“Horrible….” I said squeezing his hand a little bit. He picked me up from the counter and set me down. We held each other and I could smell the cologne he had on. It smelled so rich and exquisite. The embrace that we had made me feel sort of safe and calm. His touch comforted me.
“Do you want to stay here with me?” I said hoping that he will say yes. Maybe I can relax with him next to me.
“Of course baby.” He said kissing me on top of my forehead. I took his hand and led him into my bedroom. Once I was settled into bed, Javaughn took of his sweatshirt and shoes and just kept his sweatpants on. He climbed into the bed and pulled me close to him. My head rested on his chest and my hand was placed on his nicely sculpted abs. I didn’t have the appetite to eat my strawberries but I just finished the rest of my wine. Javaughn had been flipping the channels and placed it on a movie. My eyes began to get heavy so I snuggled up to Javaughn. Now this may be my new way to relax.
Chrishelle:
For the past week or so I've just been going to class and coming back home. I haven't talked to Corahn or Melanie since Javaughn's party and I haven't seen him in class either. I don't want to loose a friend over this bitch nigga so I decided to call Melanie, she answered after a few rings.
"Hello?"
"Hey Mel..."
"Hey Shelle what's up." She said breathlessly.
"Nothing, I just got back from class.. What are you doing."
"Whew, I'm at the park with Cameron right now, giving Amaya a break or whatever."
"Oh thats good."
The line went silent.
"Look I hope this whole situation isn't awkward between us because you're my girl, fuck that nigga. I just hope your not mad at me-"
"I'm not mad at you Shelle."
"Okay."
"In fact I'm not gonna be here any longer so-"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm going back to Atlanta after graduation."
"Why?"
"I need a break from this stuff."
For the past week or so I've just been going to class and coming back home. I haven't talked to Corahn or Melanie since Javaughn's party and I haven't seen him in class either. I don't want to loose a friend over this bitch nigga so I decided to call Melanie, she answered after a few rings.
"Hello?"
"Hey Mel..."
"Hey Shelle what's up." She said breathlessly.
"Nothing, I just got back from class.. What are you doing."
"Whew, I'm at the park with Cameron right now, giving Amaya a break or whatever."
"Oh thats good."
The line went silent.
"Look I hope this whole situation isn't awkward between us because you're my girl, fuck that nigga. I just hope your not mad at me-"
"I'm not mad at you Shelle."
"Okay."
"In fact I'm not gonna be here any longer so-"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm going back to Atlanta after graduation."
"Why?"
"I need a break from this stuff."
Melanie:
"A break from what?" Chrishelle asked.
"A break from this whole LA shit, and this Corahn drama I just wanna go back home..."
"What about the baby?"
"What about it?"
"Are you gonna keep it?"
"Yes."
"Okay.."
"Why?"
"Well maybe we can all go to the doctor together?"
"Shelle this isn't that sister wives shit, I love you and all, you my girl, but I just don't want to think of the fact that we're having a baby by the same guy." I said annoyed.
"Yeah I understand..."
"Don't get mad."
"I'm not this is just an awkward situation I guess."
"Yeah... have you talked to him?"
"Nah. have you?"
"No."
"He probably went back to Michigan or something..."
"Yeah." Chrishelle sighed.
"Well I'll talk to you later."
"Yeah I love you Mel."
"Love you to." I said hanging up the phone.
"Cam! you wanna go get something to eat... maybe IHOP?" I yelled across the park to him.
"Yes please!" he said running towards me.
"A break from what?" Chrishelle asked.
"A break from this whole LA shit, and this Corahn drama I just wanna go back home..."
"What about the baby?"
"What about it?"
"Are you gonna keep it?"
"Yes."
"Okay.."
"Why?"
"Well maybe we can all go to the doctor together?"
"Shelle this isn't that sister wives shit, I love you and all, you my girl, but I just don't want to think of the fact that we're having a baby by the same guy." I said annoyed.
"Yeah I understand..."
"Don't get mad."
"I'm not this is just an awkward situation I guess."
"Yeah... have you talked to him?"
"Nah. have you?"
"No."
"He probably went back to Michigan or something..."
"Yeah." Chrishelle sighed.
"Well I'll talk to you later."
"Yeah I love you Mel."
"Love you to." I said hanging up the phone.
"Cam! you wanna go get something to eat... maybe IHOP?" I yelled across the park to him.
"Yes please!" he said running towards me.
Corahn:
I stood in the mirror lifting weights at the apartment gym when my phone started to ring. It was Melanie. Shit I don't feel like talking to her right now about this baby stuff. Yeah I know I fucked up and slipped. I know I shouldn't have been cheating especially with friends, best friends at that, but how was I supposed to know. I sighed walking over to the water fountain. As I drank someone with heavy hands hit my back.
"Aye!" I said turning around to see it was Russel.
"Hey man what's up? You almost found yourself in a fight." I chuckled reaching out to dap him up but he denied it crossing his arms and leaning on the wall.
"Man don't what up me, what's this I hear about you getting Chrishelle and Melanie pregnant?" He said and I sighed.
"Man..."
"No nigga you know they like my sisters, how dumb can you be who fucks with best friends like that?!"
"Man I didn't know they were friends, I didn't even know they knew each other!"
"Yeah yeah, well what you gon do now?"
"Man I don't know."
"You better figure it out... or else your gonna see this fist down your throat nigga." He said with a serious face.
"Alright man I know, you think I don't feel bad about this?"
"Nah bro you probably don't give a fuck."
"I do."
"Mhm, man I mean boy get it together."
I sighed and got back on the treadmill as he walked towards the elevator.
I stood in the mirror lifting weights at the apartment gym when my phone started to ring. It was Melanie. Shit I don't feel like talking to her right now about this baby stuff. Yeah I know I fucked up and slipped. I know I shouldn't have been cheating especially with friends, best friends at that, but how was I supposed to know. I sighed walking over to the water fountain. As I drank someone with heavy hands hit my back.
"Aye!" I said turning around to see it was Russel.
"Hey man what's up? You almost found yourself in a fight." I chuckled reaching out to dap him up but he denied it crossing his arms and leaning on the wall.
"Man don't what up me, what's this I hear about you getting Chrishelle and Melanie pregnant?" He said and I sighed.
"Man..."
"No nigga you know they like my sisters, how dumb can you be who fucks with best friends like that?!"
"Man I didn't know they were friends, I didn't even know they knew each other!"
"Yeah yeah, well what you gon do now?"
"Man I don't know."
"You better figure it out... or else your gonna see this fist down your throat nigga." He said with a serious face.
"Alright man I know, you think I don't feel bad about this?"
"Nah bro you probably don't give a fuck."
"I do."
"Mhm, man I mean boy get it together."
I sighed and got back on the treadmill as he walked towards the elevator.
Amaya:
I was alone. All alone in this condo called home, alone in this world, and alone in this relationship. I felt as if the world was closing in on me. That it was drowning me, suffocating me to the point where I cannot breathe. To say that I was lost would be an understatement, I didn’t know what to do. The stress and pain I was going through isn’t good for the health of the baby. I’m actually happy to say that I’m 5 months along my pregnancy. I was ready to have this baby, but before I can get there I had to get out of my situation. This baby I’m carrying needed to be in a better environment than the one I am already in.
I knew that I couldn’t escape anytime soon from this ‘prison’. Since I moved out to live with him I was afraid to ask my parents to move back in...Melanie was out in California at UCLA doing big things. And I was stuck here, with him and this baby, in Atlanta.
It’s late at night and he still isn’t home. Knowing he was out, I took the time to pack some of my things. I’ve tried escaping the first time but my plan backfired, leaving me with bruises all over my body. They were still visible even after a few weeks. Placing my full packed luggage I placed it in an area he wouldn’t touch. As I went back to lay in the bed it was 10:56, shutting off all the lights I rested my head on the pillow. Even though I dreaded the fact of seeing him, I wanted to make sure he came home.
11:42pm
I heard the front door open and heavy footsteps followed. They began to get closer and closer until they stopped in front of the bedroom door. Still awake I sat up in bed to wait for him to enter the room. Opening the door, he walked past the bed not acknowledging my presence.
"Why are you up?" He spoke harshly.
"I wanted to wait for you…" I spoke getting out of the bed and walking behind him into the closet.
"You don’t need to wait for me." He said lowly.
"But I wanted to, just to make sure you were okay." I spoke wrapping my arms around his torso. My nose flared at the scent of a perfume. It smelt like a cheap perfume, never did I own cheap perfume. I released myself from him and scowled.
"What’s your problem?" He questioned mugging me.
"You. That’s my problem." I spoke returning the glare. Out of frustration I walked out of the closet and began to look for my keys.
"Where the fuck you think you’re going? You ain’t leavin me!" Roughly he grabbed my wrist causing my back to hit against the edge of the dresser. I winced in pain. Looking into his eyes they were red from animosity.
"Let go of me! You’re hurting us!" I said through clenched teeth. My eyes began to water from the pain I endured. Once the words slip through my mouth his eyes soften, as if he was sad. He loosened the grip he had on me.
"I know you were with her. I know that scent from anywhere… Why do you do this?" I said with a shaky voice. My eyes began to water but I refused to let them fall.
"Did you sleep with her?" I asked motionlessly.
"That’s none of your business." He spoke sternly while clenching his jaw.
"It is my business because I’m your girl! Now tell me! Did you sleep with her?" I said raising my voice. I knew he was sleeping around with woman behind my back. But what could I do anyway? Nothing.
"Yeah, I did. And I’ll do it again just to satisfy my needs, since you can’t at the moment." He spoke collectively with no emotion.
With anger I put all my force to hit him, but it was no use. His strength overpowered my small 5’7 frame to his 6’2 height. Tears emerged out of my eyes as he hurt me emotionally….and physically.
"Amaya..baby!" I heard in a low whisper. My body felt as if someone was trying to wake me up. But I couldn’t open my eyes.
"Amaya..come on babe wake up." There it goes again, that voice. I groaned causing me to finally open my eyes and there came into view, Javaughn.
"W-what?" I said sitting up in bed whipping my sweaty forehead.
"You were moving in your sleep and I heard whimpers. You alright?" He asked genuinely.
I nodded my head and laid back down with my head on his chest. Soothingly he rubbed my back with his hand up and down. I sniffled causing me to rub my nose. I disliked the fact of me getting nightmares or flashbacks, they were horrendous.
“You sure you alright? We can talk about it if you’d like.” He suggested. I shook my head no, I don’t need to discuss what happened.
“Why not? Apparently it’s a serious matter if you were crying.” He spoke catching me off guard with the tone he used. I huffed out of response and sat on the edge of the bed with my back facing him.
“I had a nightmare but it was more like a flashback.” I said rubbing my nose.
“What was it about, like what happened?” He questioned. I opened my mouth but no words were formed. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to tell him, plus it’s too early for all that anyway.
“I don’t want to talk about it Javaughn, just not now.” I spoke, I heard him groan out of frustration. Turning around he glanced at me and I cracked a smile. He shook his head and chuckled.
“Come here girl, lets just go to bed.” He said grabbing me by my waist and pulling me closer to him. I rested my head against his chest again and began to relax. Maybe I’ll be able to relax and fall asleep this time around.
I was alone. All alone in this condo called home, alone in this world, and alone in this relationship. I felt as if the world was closing in on me. That it was drowning me, suffocating me to the point where I cannot breathe. To say that I was lost would be an understatement, I didn’t know what to do. The stress and pain I was going through isn’t good for the health of the baby. I’m actually happy to say that I’m 5 months along my pregnancy. I was ready to have this baby, but before I can get there I had to get out of my situation. This baby I’m carrying needed to be in a better environment than the one I am already in.
I knew that I couldn’t escape anytime soon from this ‘prison’. Since I moved out to live with him I was afraid to ask my parents to move back in...Melanie was out in California at UCLA doing big things. And I was stuck here, with him and this baby, in Atlanta.
It’s late at night and he still isn’t home. Knowing he was out, I took the time to pack some of my things. I’ve tried escaping the first time but my plan backfired, leaving me with bruises all over my body. They were still visible even after a few weeks. Placing my full packed luggage I placed it in an area he wouldn’t touch. As I went back to lay in the bed it was 10:56, shutting off all the lights I rested my head on the pillow. Even though I dreaded the fact of seeing him, I wanted to make sure he came home.
11:42pm
I heard the front door open and heavy footsteps followed. They began to get closer and closer until they stopped in front of the bedroom door. Still awake I sat up in bed to wait for him to enter the room. Opening the door, he walked past the bed not acknowledging my presence.
"Why are you up?" He spoke harshly.
"I wanted to wait for you…" I spoke getting out of the bed and walking behind him into the closet.
"You don’t need to wait for me." He said lowly.
"But I wanted to, just to make sure you were okay." I spoke wrapping my arms around his torso. My nose flared at the scent of a perfume. It smelt like a cheap perfume, never did I own cheap perfume. I released myself from him and scowled.
"What’s your problem?" He questioned mugging me.
"You. That’s my problem." I spoke returning the glare. Out of frustration I walked out of the closet and began to look for my keys.
"Where the fuck you think you’re going? You ain’t leavin me!" Roughly he grabbed my wrist causing my back to hit against the edge of the dresser. I winced in pain. Looking into his eyes they were red from animosity.
"Let go of me! You’re hurting us!" I said through clenched teeth. My eyes began to water from the pain I endured. Once the words slip through my mouth his eyes soften, as if he was sad. He loosened the grip he had on me.
"I know you were with her. I know that scent from anywhere… Why do you do this?" I said with a shaky voice. My eyes began to water but I refused to let them fall.
"Did you sleep with her?" I asked motionlessly.
"That’s none of your business." He spoke sternly while clenching his jaw.
"It is my business because I’m your girl! Now tell me! Did you sleep with her?" I said raising my voice. I knew he was sleeping around with woman behind my back. But what could I do anyway? Nothing.
"Yeah, I did. And I’ll do it again just to satisfy my needs, since you can’t at the moment." He spoke collectively with no emotion.
With anger I put all my force to hit him, but it was no use. His strength overpowered my small 5’7 frame to his 6’2 height. Tears emerged out of my eyes as he hurt me emotionally….and physically.
"Amaya..baby!" I heard in a low whisper. My body felt as if someone was trying to wake me up. But I couldn’t open my eyes.
"Amaya..come on babe wake up." There it goes again, that voice. I groaned causing me to finally open my eyes and there came into view, Javaughn.
"W-what?" I said sitting up in bed whipping my sweaty forehead.
"You were moving in your sleep and I heard whimpers. You alright?" He asked genuinely.
I nodded my head and laid back down with my head on his chest. Soothingly he rubbed my back with his hand up and down. I sniffled causing me to rub my nose. I disliked the fact of me getting nightmares or flashbacks, they were horrendous.
“You sure you alright? We can talk about it if you’d like.” He suggested. I shook my head no, I don’t need to discuss what happened.
“Why not? Apparently it’s a serious matter if you were crying.” He spoke catching me off guard with the tone he used. I huffed out of response and sat on the edge of the bed with my back facing him.
“I had a nightmare but it was more like a flashback.” I said rubbing my nose.
“What was it about, like what happened?” He questioned. I opened my mouth but no words were formed. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to tell him, plus it’s too early for all that anyway.
“I don’t want to talk about it Javaughn, just not now.” I spoke, I heard him groan out of frustration. Turning around he glanced at me and I cracked a smile. He shook his head and chuckled.
“Come here girl, lets just go to bed.” He said grabbing me by my waist and pulling me closer to him. I rested my head against his chest again and began to relax. Maybe I’ll be able to relax and fall asleep this time around.